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the best way out is
always through
Alyssa Ball
Holistic Nurse Coach (BSN, RN, HWNC-BC) & Reiki Master
I am so excited you are here!! Taking ownership of your health and wellness is a powerful thing and I think one of the greatest forms of self-care! As I take a look back at myself, I can honestly say it's much easier now to connect the dots to see that one of my greatest struggles was really an awakening in disguise.
I used to suffer from debilitating panic attacks and crippling anxiety in my early 20’s- and it literally kicked me in the butt. I was seemingly "fine" one day, and then my first out-of-nowhere-big-ass panic attack happened in the middle of my last waitressing shift (conveniently a few days before starting a brand new corporate job in NYC post-graduating college), and it completely shook me. After that initial experience I used to describe feeling like I had constant electricity running through my body that kept me on high-alert at all times- kind of like my nerves were set on fire and I couldn't shut it off. After a few months of constant panicking and massive anxiety, I was miserable, and felt like I was just this shadow of my former self who was afraid to do anything or go anywhere, always dreading another panic attack. I seemed fine on the outside (I put on the best show, a high-functioning anxiety type), but I was really a mess on the inside. All I wanted to do was escape every situation, but I did not know what I was trying to escape from.
I felt so embarrassed and foolish because nothing bad had happened to me. I had my health and I was very fortunate, but I still could not shake this something, that was not even physically tangible, was controlling my thoughts, my behaviors and ultimately my life. After much frustration and wrestling with this for a very long time, (or plain dancing around it), I realized the best way out is always through...
My experiences with anxiety and panic changed me- it forced me to be uncomfortable, to slow down, to do some hard work, to reconnect to myself, and to ultimately evaluate what kind of life I truly wanted to live. The healing process allowed me to trust my inner self again, which I realized I never had before. After seeking external validation for so long, I finally realized the only voice that mattered was mine.
Now more than ever in the modern world we live in, with all the busyness, noise, and distractions, having a sense of balance is so essential to living a full and happy life. And I see this especially now, as I am in the midst of my most important role as a mother- I understand there is a great balancing act of life. Becoming a mother was really my pivoting point, it has been my greatest gift, and actually allowed me to step out of my own way. Both my personal life and career experiences have led me towards seeing the world through this lens of holism- I see the interconnectedness of all things, the mind, body and spirit, our relationships to others and the world around us. I also truly believe in the importance of being your own health advocate and having knowledge as the key to power in helping you make informed decisions, as your external environment is an integral part of your wholeness.
You know that feeling you get when you look up at the sun and feel its glorious warmth and all its radiance on your face and you just want to bask in that lovely sensation?? That's the power I envision we all have within us, a beautiful sun, bel sole, a magnetic and radiant energy, the light we all have within each of us to chase the shadows away. And that is the beautiful energy I want you to wake up to every day, knowing in your heart you are living a life true to yourself- choosing to see the light when others don't- and being brave enough to be the light despite any darkness..